- Posts: 4
- Joined: Jan 03, 2016
- Sat Jan 30, 2016 5:43 pm
#21987
Hi! I would like some feedback on my personal statement. Just as some background information, I have a lot leadership experience and public interest/community-building related work experience on my resume, which the adcom's will see. I am providing that information here just to give more depth to my personal statement as it relates to who I am as a person, since the rest of you cannot see my entire application. Identifying info has been removed. Feedback is welcomed. Thanks! 
:
While many seven year olds may dream to be superheroes or perhaps mystical creatures, I believed I was a teacher – my older brother ___'s teacher, to be exact. Each Saturday morning, as the television rotated between programs, I gathered scraps of paper along with my vivid assortment of crayons, pencils, and markers. My lesson plan consisted of encouraging simple sounds, followed by deliberate pronunciation paired with spelling. I then would take his hands, which were coarse from years of self-inflicted wounds spurred by autism, and begin to write his name with our fingers intertwined in colorful markers. I longed for him to speak any word or write any letter, a capability my parents said existed prior to my birth. But with each inaudible mumble he gave, I knew my wish would never come true.
My days as ____ “teacher” culminated in an abrupt fashion following one of his unpredictable outbursts, where all of my carefully grouped materials flew across the room. In that moment, I experienced the defeating realization of not only a teacher, but as a sister, that I was unable to help someone I loved the only way I knew how. Having a special needs sibling, and my own understanding that his condition would never change the way I wanted it to, inspired me to always consider the disadvantages of others at a very young age. In the midst of those lessons, I planted the seeds of mentorship and responsibility that would blossom throughout adulthood.
While I never succeeded in imparting the English language upon ____, I instead discovered other unique ways in which I could help others in need of a voice. As an undergraduate lowerclassman, I began working as a Student Consultant for my fellow business school students, helping them navigate their way through the oftentimes challenging curriculum. It was during this position I noticed the need for additional resources in the less prominent academic programs, including my own. I obtained leadership positions that gave me access to implementing beneficial programs, as well as expanding my professional career. Although I relished working closely with others through academic means, my personal life disquieted me. My family struggled to find the appropriate care for ______, now in his mid-20’s and placed on a thirteen-year waiting list for state disability services. I longed to gain applicable experience within a field that resonated the most with me. I decided to pursue an opportunity interning for the ______ Disability Law Center, exposing me to legal advocacy and the nonprofit sector.
While I had worked in a variety of legal environments prior to, my role transcended those often found in office settings – my emotions were always involved. As one of the Intake Specialists, I was solely responsible for providing support to those who had lost their paratransit eligibility. I heard the sorrowful stories of those who had nowhere else to turn and no one else who would listen, as well as their overwhelming gratefulness for my aid. In such times, I inevitably thought of my brother and the difficulty I once had and still had helping him. With each case I facilitated, I found myself taken back to the days of my childhood, transforming into the persistent sibling creating English lesson plans. Thus, my motivation in attending law school truly solidified as I realized there is dire need for reform within not just the educational system but in public support programs for the disabled and disadvantaged.
My academic and internship opportunities have encouraged me to explore a career in non-profit organizations, continuing to find ways to influence the lives of others through direct and meaningful involvement. After visiting _____ Law last year, I became drawn to its vast array of community service-based resources, particularly the _____ Program and _____ Pro Bono Project, which give all students the chance to participate in alleviating community concerns through legal work. As a current undergraduate business major, I would be able to apply my academic knowledge of business principles through resources such as the _______ Clinic. Furthermore, _____'s location in a mecca for public interest and government opportunities undoubtedly make it my top choice for pursuing my legal career.
Nearly 15 years have passed since those Saturday mornings spent as _____’s teacher, yet the lessons he taught me will forever remain in my mind. I realize that my greatest potential is through helping others – not in any grandiose fashion, but through the simple power of practicing empathy and most importantly, patience. Whether serving as a consultant, mentor, or educator, each opportunity has given me appreciation for seeking first to understand others before being understood – a realization I will maintain while at ______ Law. I am confident that becoming a law student here will not only help me accomplish my aspirations, but also be the advocate for not just my brother but all people without a voice.
:While many seven year olds may dream to be superheroes or perhaps mystical creatures, I believed I was a teacher – my older brother ___'s teacher, to be exact. Each Saturday morning, as the television rotated between programs, I gathered scraps of paper along with my vivid assortment of crayons, pencils, and markers. My lesson plan consisted of encouraging simple sounds, followed by deliberate pronunciation paired with spelling. I then would take his hands, which were coarse from years of self-inflicted wounds spurred by autism, and begin to write his name with our fingers intertwined in colorful markers. I longed for him to speak any word or write any letter, a capability my parents said existed prior to my birth. But with each inaudible mumble he gave, I knew my wish would never come true.
My days as ____ “teacher” culminated in an abrupt fashion following one of his unpredictable outbursts, where all of my carefully grouped materials flew across the room. In that moment, I experienced the defeating realization of not only a teacher, but as a sister, that I was unable to help someone I loved the only way I knew how. Having a special needs sibling, and my own understanding that his condition would never change the way I wanted it to, inspired me to always consider the disadvantages of others at a very young age. In the midst of those lessons, I planted the seeds of mentorship and responsibility that would blossom throughout adulthood.
While I never succeeded in imparting the English language upon ____, I instead discovered other unique ways in which I could help others in need of a voice. As an undergraduate lowerclassman, I began working as a Student Consultant for my fellow business school students, helping them navigate their way through the oftentimes challenging curriculum. It was during this position I noticed the need for additional resources in the less prominent academic programs, including my own. I obtained leadership positions that gave me access to implementing beneficial programs, as well as expanding my professional career. Although I relished working closely with others through academic means, my personal life disquieted me. My family struggled to find the appropriate care for ______, now in his mid-20’s and placed on a thirteen-year waiting list for state disability services. I longed to gain applicable experience within a field that resonated the most with me. I decided to pursue an opportunity interning for the ______ Disability Law Center, exposing me to legal advocacy and the nonprofit sector.
While I had worked in a variety of legal environments prior to, my role transcended those often found in office settings – my emotions were always involved. As one of the Intake Specialists, I was solely responsible for providing support to those who had lost their paratransit eligibility. I heard the sorrowful stories of those who had nowhere else to turn and no one else who would listen, as well as their overwhelming gratefulness for my aid. In such times, I inevitably thought of my brother and the difficulty I once had and still had helping him. With each case I facilitated, I found myself taken back to the days of my childhood, transforming into the persistent sibling creating English lesson plans. Thus, my motivation in attending law school truly solidified as I realized there is dire need for reform within not just the educational system but in public support programs for the disabled and disadvantaged.
My academic and internship opportunities have encouraged me to explore a career in non-profit organizations, continuing to find ways to influence the lives of others through direct and meaningful involvement. After visiting _____ Law last year, I became drawn to its vast array of community service-based resources, particularly the _____ Program and _____ Pro Bono Project, which give all students the chance to participate in alleviating community concerns through legal work. As a current undergraduate business major, I would be able to apply my academic knowledge of business principles through resources such as the _______ Clinic. Furthermore, _____'s location in a mecca for public interest and government opportunities undoubtedly make it my top choice for pursuing my legal career.
Nearly 15 years have passed since those Saturday mornings spent as _____’s teacher, yet the lessons he taught me will forever remain in my mind. I realize that my greatest potential is through helping others – not in any grandiose fashion, but through the simple power of practicing empathy and most importantly, patience. Whether serving as a consultant, mentor, or educator, each opportunity has given me appreciation for seeking first to understand others before being understood – a realization I will maintain while at ______ Law. I am confident that becoming a law student here will not only help me accomplish my aspirations, but also be the advocate for not just my brother but all people without a voice.
