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 Voidy
  • Posts: 3
  • Joined: May 14, 2014
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#14696
Hey guys. Here is my personal statement, if you don't mind taking a few minutes to read it and comment, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

As a child, I recall my 5 brothers were all enjoying the pleasures of the Nintendo we had, while I sat idly watching and praying for my turn, which never seemed to arrive. So as always, in order for me to get a turn, I had to plan accordingly. I went to my mother and asked “when does my new Nintendo come in”? “What new Nintendo, we already bought you all one”, she replied confused. I began, “Well you said you bought us a new Nintendo, which means we would all play it. Since I am not playing, that means this Nintendo can’t possibly be mine too. So when does mine come in?” I quickly learned the power of words.
Family is what shaped and molded me into the person that I am today. We didn’t have money growing up, but we were very rich with love. I grew up in a one-story two-bedroom house with 7 children (I the youngest) and 2 parents. Between the ages of 7-8, we lived in Lebanon. It wasn’t the nice part of Lebanon where the rich or even the middle class lived; it was a refugee camp, where electricity was a luxury that would work once every three days. Getting to school was a 45 minute walk, which included jumping fences, evading rabid dogs and young ambitious Lebanese soldiers. This was daily, and the routes were always filled with obstacles that may or may not have prevented us from getting to school that day. Even the gunshots that were routinely heard never forced me to scamper away from school. I was trekking home from school one day when I was stopped by a group of 10-12 year olds. They surrounded me and began interrogating me, asking where I am from and what is in my pocket. I began to talk with them, asked them if they curious about me or just want to make trouble. I began to make them laugh, gave them life advice that I felt that would value more than the pocket change I had. Words had saved me, as I continued on my way with my pockets still rattling with change.
“You would make a good lawyer” was what I routinely heard since I was 10 years old. I didn’t fully understand what that meant. I was young and thought they were referring to the fact that I was an avid “arguer”. I was never in school debate, but rather I would love to question things and was always intellectually curious.
At the age of 16, I was able to work in my two brother’s law office, where they are currently working as corporate and defense attorneys. I would file papers for them, get them coffee, and keep track of office supplies. But I couldn’t help but observe and listen to clients come in, frantic about issues they have with the law. They didn’t know anything and needed answers. I remember feeling nothing but compassion and empathy for them, but I couldn’t help them. I became mesmerized watching my brothers give them peace of mind and ensure them that they will be taken care of. They now had the trust of their clients and the responsibility of the resolution. “I want that trust and I want that responsibility”, was all I would think about for the next 9 years of my life. I didn’t want to settle for anything else.
It was my first real job interview after graduating with an accounting degree, and I had with the lowest GPA of all the candidates. But my GPA wasn’t the sell; I knew I would have to refer back to my weapons, my words. After a seemingly brief 45 minute interview, the assistant controller caught me in the elevator and told me, “I don’t know how you did it, but you have the job if you want it”. That day I was hired, and I immediately started planning my financial quota and the date I wanted to achieve it by. Day after day, for two years straight, I would put on the same type of clothes, drive the same route, sit at the same desk, in the same corner, and analyze the same numbers with nothing to question or think about. There was nothing unique about this life and I was bored every minute of it, but I knew it was a means to an end. I tolerated going through the worst 2 years of my life, for the simple fact that I wanted to enter the best years of my life, law school. Finally, the day was here, December 26, 2014, I had achieved my financial quota for law school, and was ready to leave. I had a steady job, good compensation with potential to make a good career, but without hesitation, I walked right into the office of my superior, and told them that I would be leaving. I was nothing but smiles; I couldn’t help but think of my time in the law office watching and observing people come in with confusion and fear. For I want nothing more than one day, to look people in the eyes, and say “I can help you”.
 Steve Stein
PowerScore Staff
  • PowerScore Staff
  • Posts: 1153
  • Joined: Apr 11, 2011
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#14732
Hi Voidy,

From a quick read I have a few thoughts about your statement. First, it sounds like you had a very interesting childhood! It's great to include a bit about what sets you apart from other applicants, but I felt like some of your anecdotes were interesting but left somewhat unresolved. For example, did you end up getting your own Nintendo? ...And what was the specific advice that saved you from the pack of 10 and 12 year-olds? As for the basis of your interest in law, it's great that you want to help people, so you might want to add a bit of specificity there as well.

I hope that's a helpful start!

~Steve
User avatar
 Dave Killoran
PowerScore Staff
  • PowerScore Staff
  • Posts: 5994
  • Joined: Mar 25, 2011
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#14737
Let me second Steve's thoughts, and also add that I thought the first paragraph felt a bit choppy to me, as in it jumps around a lot.

The other point I'll make is that you want to be a bit careful in presenting yourself as an "arguer" because that can sometimes come off as you being abrasive. And, since being a lawyer involves much more than simply arguing, it reflects a narrow view of the profession (which doesn't play well with the adcoms). I'm not saying you need to completely drop that part of the discussion, but when you redraft this I'd carefully examine each part to make sure it conveys the right presentation.

Also, if you haven't already, check out our free Personal Statement lesson in our Free Help area, at http://www.powerscore.com/lsat/help/. I talk a lot about issues that are relevant to your essay in that seminar.

Thanks and good luck!

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