Paralyzed by test anxiety

[mejoe]

It's 11 days to the test.

I haven't slept in about 4 days and I haven't studied in about four. Three days ago I took a practice test; I got 136. Abysmal. That more or less did it for me in terms of studying. In six weeks, I read the books, revisited the passages, I did problems in the drills and everything. Now I can't think straight. I'm having panic attacks at night, and I'm having awful dreams of doing abysmally on test day. I don't want to study because it feels futile. And this is the first time I am taking the LSAT. Either I'm not studying correctly (or not diligently enough), or I'm just not getting it. I don't want to say that this course has been a waste of time because it hasn't. I've learned so much! So much that I feel like I have the slightest of hopes of maybe scoring above a 136.

I don't know whom to talk to or where to go. I want to talk to my instructors, or someone who has done this before. Nothing feels good right now. I have depression and anxiety, so whenever I take tests — really anything that involves focusing on things in general, it takes a great deal of cognitive energy to do it. This journey has been physically and psychologically grueling. I want to see it through, but I have a feeling that things aren't going to end well. Had I a surefire way of knowing that I was doing things correctly rather than just intimations, I guess I would score higher. The worse thing about all of this is that I can't just "make it stop". It's even worse when other people accuse you of having a bad attitude when it comes to studying.

I think people should understand that when mentally ill people take tests, it's not a normal "let's have fun and see what this experience is like". You don't really trust yourself, you don't trust the test-makers, you don't trust the proctors. You see them as somehow contributing to the stigma of having a mental illness –– "you" are crazy, bad, flawed, less than desirable, &c. Stereotype threat. The LSAT is hard because not because it's in fact hard. It's actually very easy but very tricky.

I need advice. I would like to continue studying and finish my course with the semblance of having gotten the majority of it. I feel like I need to take it easy and just go through one module at a time. I'd also like to know how I can talk to an instructor and just see what they have to say about my test performance. Is anyone else going through what I'm going through?

[Nikki Siclunov]

Hey Joe,

What you're going through is absolutely terrible, and - while I've never felt this way about the LSAT - it does bring me back to grad school. The hopelessness you feel, the anxiety, the anger... it's all there. You aren't alone in this. Trust me when I say this, but the 136 you just got is not a testament to your intellectual abilities, or even of your level of preparedness to take the test. I know this because I read your post: it exhibits pain and frustration, yes, but also excellent command of language, self-awareness, and erudition. I am absolutely certain that you can score much, much higher if you got control of yourself, and how your brain is handling this admittedly less-than-enjoyable event (aka LSAT). Here's an actionable 5-point plan for you:

1. You need sleep. Forget about the LSAT for the next 3 days: your task is to get a solid 8 hrs of sleep/night from now until the day of the test. Some of the most insidious effects of too little sleep involve mental processes like learning, memory, judgment and problem-solving. People who are well rested are better able to learn a task and more likely to remember what they learned. In one set of studies (soon to be published in The Journal of Neuroscience, as a matter of fact), scientists found that sleep disruption stresses the brain’s metabolism. The result is the degeneration of key neurons involved in alertness and proper cortical function, as well as a buildup of proteins associated with aging and neural degeneration. That doesn't bode well for someone taking the LSAT. Get. Some. Sleep.

2. Hit the gym. Cardiovascular exercise correlates not only with higher levels of well-being, but also with superior cognitive performance. Multiple well-controlled studies have shown a significant correlation between fitness scores and test scores. Nothing like a 10-mile run or a 50-mile bike ride to make you feel challenged and energized. It's harder than the LSAT (for me, at least). As Nike says, Just do it!

3. Meditate. If you knew me, you'd probably laugh at the suggestion that I could ever sit still for more than 5 seconds. But... hear me out: In the last few years, something called “mindfulness training” has emerged as a technique that can improve working memory and boost cognitive performance. Mindfulness also makes a lot of sense when it comes to stress reduction and enhanced focus. For years, mindfulness-based stress reduction programs have been proven to provide powerful psychological benefits and have evolved into a common form of complementary medicine. The ability to concentrate while meditating can obviously be useful to standardized test-takers. Despite all the psycho-babble you might be tempted to tune out, the basic exercises are quite simple: learn to sit alone in a quiet room, with your eyes closed, for 10-15 minutes. Do this every day. Focus on your breathing, and be aware of what you’re feeling in that very moment. That's all. There are worse ways to spend 15 minutes.

4. Talk to your doctor.If you're suffering from clinical depression, talk to your doctor about it (if you haven't done that already). While it's never as simple as a chemical imbalance in your brain (nor are we certified psychiatrists), you can probably benefit from therapy and/or medication. I don't know you or your medical history, nor am I qualified to offer medical advice. But it's worth a shot. Promise me you'll do it, if you haven't already.

5. Read. We've written quite a few articles on the topic of test anxiety. Take a look at some of them here:

http://blog.powerscore.com/lsat/bid/341 ... Your-Brain
http://blog.powerscore.com/lsat/bid/297 ... Your-Score
http://blog.powerscore.com/lsat/bid/323 ... NASA-Style
http://blog.powerscore.com/lsat/bid/346 ... e-Thinking

Also, check out our Test Mentality seminar, available under LSAT Free Help Area: http://www.powerscore.com/lsat/help/. Click Free Lessons -> LSAT Test Mentality.

6. After you've done steps 1-5 above, and ONLY AFTER you've done all of the above, take an untimed LSAT practice test. Forget about the clock. PM me after and let me know how you did: I'd love to take a look at your score report.

Talk soon,

Nikki