- Posts: 1
- Joined: Jan 05, 2016
- Tue Jan 05, 2016 3:24 pm
#21526
Hi Powerscore and Dave Killoran,
If you could give me any constructive feedback, that would be amazing! Some parts have been redacted to maintain anonymity
Although the roots are the least visible part of a tree, they are by far the most important. For while its fruit is the most profitable and its leaves provide energy, a tree simply cannot survive without roots. They are the stable base and foundation that allows the tree to flourish. For me, my parents’ legacy of hard work and the pursuit of excellence has been the foundation and roots of my success. Both of my parents grew up in families where they could barely afford the basic necessities. My mom was raised by a mother widowed at a young age, and my dad’s father worked two factory jobs to support his nine children. My paternal grandparents only had an eighth grade education, and no one in either family had ever graduated college. Although there was little expectation that my parents could or would improve their circumstances, through incredible hard work and perseverance they became the first in their families to graduate from college and went on to graduate from one of the top law schools in the country.
My parents’ difficult road to success prompted them to instill in me responsibility, independence and an inner drive to set goals and work hard to accomplish those goals. Modeling my parents, at every milestone in my life I have wholeheartedly and relentlessly pursued my passions and goals with excellence.
My journey began early. At three, I attended a school for the gifted that was several miles away from my home. With two parents working full time and three siblings attending three different schools, making it to class meant that I woke up every weekday at 5:30 AM and traveled alone to school via a “kid’s cab”. When I was eight (and in third grade), I decided to enter a school year long reading comprehension competition for kindergarten through eighth grade students. I not only won the competition for my grade but I became the youngest student in school history to win the entire competition. At sixteen, I became the first student to simultaneously compete in two Varsity activities - mock trial and basketball. Although school policy prohibited it, I convinced both Varsity coaches to change the policy. I excelled at both, winning awards in mock trial and being the starting point guard on the Varsity basketball team.
I continued my pursuit of excellence at ____. As a freshman, I was hand-selected to conduct research with Education professor Dr. ___ ____, who worked under the Bush and Obama administrations to transform national education. I also conducted research with Sociology professor Dr. ___ ___ for an academic article that will soon be published.
I have found my biggest passion outside the classroom and inside the courtroom competing at Mock Trial. I not only excelled personally, but I created a successful, nationally-recognized mock trial program in just two years. My freshman year I was selected as president of the program and captain of the Varsity team. Although I was honored, accepting these positions meant rebuilding the program from scratch. The program had only completed its second full year, and the majority of the upperclassmen had graduated, including the program’s founders. This left me with very few returning members and virtually no structure or road map to follow.
With the massive overhaul, limited experience, and a tiny budget, there was little hope that our small program would or could succeed. However, under my leadership we have experienced ground-breaking competitive success. In two years, we moved from being virtually unheard of to being ranked #1 in __(my state) and __ in the nation. I established an annual tournament, coordinated fundraising activities that generated tens of thousands of dollars and successfully lobbied the administration to grant class credit to the mock trial teams.
Although I have been blessed not to have the financial struggles my parents had, I am proud that I have used their legacy as a foundation to direct my own path, set my own goals and make my own successes. I am eager to continue this legacy of excellence in law school.
If you could give me any constructive feedback, that would be amazing! Some parts have been redacted to maintain anonymity
Although the roots are the least visible part of a tree, they are by far the most important. For while its fruit is the most profitable and its leaves provide energy, a tree simply cannot survive without roots. They are the stable base and foundation that allows the tree to flourish. For me, my parents’ legacy of hard work and the pursuit of excellence has been the foundation and roots of my success. Both of my parents grew up in families where they could barely afford the basic necessities. My mom was raised by a mother widowed at a young age, and my dad’s father worked two factory jobs to support his nine children. My paternal grandparents only had an eighth grade education, and no one in either family had ever graduated college. Although there was little expectation that my parents could or would improve their circumstances, through incredible hard work and perseverance they became the first in their families to graduate from college and went on to graduate from one of the top law schools in the country.
My parents’ difficult road to success prompted them to instill in me responsibility, independence and an inner drive to set goals and work hard to accomplish those goals. Modeling my parents, at every milestone in my life I have wholeheartedly and relentlessly pursued my passions and goals with excellence.
My journey began early. At three, I attended a school for the gifted that was several miles away from my home. With two parents working full time and three siblings attending three different schools, making it to class meant that I woke up every weekday at 5:30 AM and traveled alone to school via a “kid’s cab”. When I was eight (and in third grade), I decided to enter a school year long reading comprehension competition for kindergarten through eighth grade students. I not only won the competition for my grade but I became the youngest student in school history to win the entire competition. At sixteen, I became the first student to simultaneously compete in two Varsity activities - mock trial and basketball. Although school policy prohibited it, I convinced both Varsity coaches to change the policy. I excelled at both, winning awards in mock trial and being the starting point guard on the Varsity basketball team.
I continued my pursuit of excellence at ____. As a freshman, I was hand-selected to conduct research with Education professor Dr. ___ ____, who worked under the Bush and Obama administrations to transform national education. I also conducted research with Sociology professor Dr. ___ ___ for an academic article that will soon be published.
I have found my biggest passion outside the classroom and inside the courtroom competing at Mock Trial. I not only excelled personally, but I created a successful, nationally-recognized mock trial program in just two years. My freshman year I was selected as president of the program and captain of the Varsity team. Although I was honored, accepting these positions meant rebuilding the program from scratch. The program had only completed its second full year, and the majority of the upperclassmen had graduated, including the program’s founders. This left me with very few returning members and virtually no structure or road map to follow.
With the massive overhaul, limited experience, and a tiny budget, there was little hope that our small program would or could succeed. However, under my leadership we have experienced ground-breaking competitive success. In two years, we moved from being virtually unheard of to being ranked #1 in __(my state) and __ in the nation. I established an annual tournament, coordinated fundraising activities that generated tens of thousands of dollars and successfully lobbied the administration to grant class credit to the mock trial teams.
Although I have been blessed not to have the financial struggles my parents had, I am proud that I have used their legacy as a foundation to direct my own path, set my own goals and make my own successes. I am eager to continue this legacy of excellence in law school.
